I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
