Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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