and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
