It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
