I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
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Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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