Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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