Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
