She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i believe in u and ur pee
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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