Dude my mom stole all your condoms
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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