she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
