you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm at about main and main street
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
