With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
