Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize