her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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