Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
