she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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