anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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