Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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