So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
