You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
