Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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