in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We need to rekindle our bromance
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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