ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Shame - the story of my life.
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