you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
