Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
