Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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