I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
