I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize