Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
