I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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