absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is this like a preordered booty call?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
