All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
