we're blogging at a bar
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
