Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
