I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
