i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
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We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
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The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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