we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
