everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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