So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
