Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
