Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
