Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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