hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
