fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
