this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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