why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
