Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
