Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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