He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
