just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
