I think i peed on brittanys purse
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
