thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
