Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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