Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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