Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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