she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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