Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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