break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
