If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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