my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
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You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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