when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
