That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
