bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
