You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
